Notes: This was originally as an apology fic for Queenie. Rachel is QueenScene2's self insert. Goblin is my self insert. For the record. (I love being able to make self indulgent content)
Rachel groaned, standing in front of the mirror as she held two dresses in her hands. She was going on a blind date, with who knows who, that was arranged by her roommate.
Said roommate was lounging on Rachel’s bed, scrolling through her phone, presumably texting her mystery girlfriend. Goblin (likely an alias, her parents didn’t literally name her Goblin… probably) looked up briefly with a frown.
“Gob, are you going to tell me who this is?” Rachel sighed, turning around to her roommate.
“No? That ruins the point.” Goblin sat up after shooting a quick text. “Wear the black dress, it highlights your curves more.”
“Are you dressing me by how good I would look to him or how good I would look to you?”
“To me, duh? Besides, any good man would think you look good in almost anything, so my taste should work.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Your taste in women is just buff.”
Goblin sputtered and fell off the bed. Ignoring her flustered roommate, she turned back to the mirror, then set down her light blue floral dress in favor of her slim black dress.
“Wear the pearls with that one,” Goblin said, having gotten back on the bed, though a bit more flush around the ears. “And light pink lipstick, light blue eyeshadow, don’t go heavy on the mascara.”
“Since when were you an expert in fashion?” Rachel turned around, an eyebrow raised.
“I got a degree, I’m literally an expert.”
“Really? You? Got a college degree?”
“Yeah? Then why don’t you have a job?”
“I have a sugar mommy. I don’t need it.”
She just rolled her eyes, picking up her makeup and the matching pearl necklace and earrings. “Alright, get out of my room. I have to get changed.”
Goblin slid bonelessly off of the bed, like a cat, and walked out. “I’ll text you the restaurant location. Don’t be late.”
“This is coming from the girl who’s always late!”
“Shut up!”
Rachel sipped on her lemonade, sitting at an outside table while looking over the menu. She was at a fancy restaurant called “The Vine,” with all the names written in a Southern Arusian dialect and outrageously expensive. It was almost like an Olive Garden, which she supposed is why she’s sitting here without a wallet in her purse. Goblin told her that the man would pay for it. And to not be too embarrassed. She didn’t have a clue what that meant, but she supposed she would find out soon.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, traffic was awful-” The other man dropped into his seat, before cutting off when their eyes met.
Lance McClain sat across from her.
His hair was slicked back, but there were still pieces flying out, a wildness that couldn’t be contained. He wore a simple navy tux, a rose pinned to his lapel. And he was the one who Rachel liked- no, loved- no, adored.
One problem: he’s seen her twerk on the beach to “Never Gonna Give You Up” and then watch her fake pearl jewelry scatter all over the beach. So she’s screwed. (Fuck Goblin for that)
“Hey, you’re the one from the beach!” Lance grinned, leaning onto the table.
Her face went bright red. “That’s the last time I’m taking any dating advice from my roommate.”
He just chuckled good-naturedly. “The short one with purple hair, right? I’m pretty sure she’s a lesbian.”
“Yeah, in hindsight, asking her for dating advice was probably a mistake.” She took another sip of lemonade.
“Well, I think it ended up going well, if you’re sitting here in front of me,” Lance winked, and it took all of Rachel’s willpower not to squeal.
“I think you have to buy me dinner first before you lay on the flatteries.” Rachel said, trying to get herself under control.
“Well, I think I should know your name, sweetheart.”
“It’s Rachel.”
A few tables away, Goblin and Allura sat with pilot shades and strawberry limenades, watching the blind date go down.
“It seems to be going well,” Allura muttered, entwining her fingers with her girlfriend’s.
“Yeah, nothing’s on fire,” Goblin chuckled.
“This is Lance, not Pidge, we’re talking about.” Allura took another sip of her drink, before pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek.
She sighed, leaning into it, before backing away. “We’re gonna get kicked out at this rate, Lura.”
“Didn’t you say you were craving barbeque earlier?”
“Yeah, but if we were kicked out, our cover would be blown.” Goblin sighed, but then she winked. “I wouldn’t be opposed to leaving now and getting kicked out of a barbeque place though.”
Somehow, they managed to escape the Vine before they were kicked out for making out.
Rachel yawned, snuggling into the very soft blankets. They felt like silk- silk?
She bolted up, finding that she was laying in a room that absolutely wasn’t her own. The curtains were a deep blue, the floor was covered in clothes, and the nightstand next to her had a knife and a picture. A picture of the Voltron team.
She tried to remember what happened last night. She was set up on a blind date by Goblin, she met up with the Lance McClain, they had dinner, and then they-
Hoarse whispers in her ear, calloused hands on her hips, clothes being shed-
Rachel shook her head, pulling herself up and putting on some clothes. The sweatpants she grabbed were too big, but she managed to tie them, and the tee she grabbed was too big, but she just dealt with it. Eventually, she opened the door and started to wander.
Why the fuck are these hallways all the same?
Eventually, she found her way into the lounge. Hunk was cooking something, Lance was sitting at the counter next to Allura and Keith, and Pidge was sitting on the counter.
“Umm, hello?” Lance looked over to where Rachel was with a grin.
“Rachel!” Lance strode over, slinging an arm around her shoulder and guiding her into the room. “Meet the others. That’s Mr. Too High Strung, that’s Gordon Ramsey, that’s Dipshit, and that’s Allura.”
There were a whole bunch of cries of protest, but the loudest one was Hunk’s. “Wait a minute, why didn’t Allura get a condescending name!?”
“Because I did him a solid.” Allura pat Lance on the back, as Keith stood up to give Rachel a seat. “I was the one to help get him his girl.”
Keith sighed, his fingers pressed to his temples. “And what did Lance do for you to owe him a solid?”
“Hey! Sometimes I do things out of the kindness of my heart-”
“I got her a girlfriend.”
“Hey.”
A tirade of questions started, and Rachel mainly tuned it out, leaning against her now boyfriend. He was warm, and he gripped her tighter as he realized that she was leaning on him.
The room went quiet as the door opened behind her. Her eyes widened as Goblin rolled in, a smoothie in her hands, wearing sunglasses and rolling in on heelies.
“Hi babe,” she said casually, rolling over to Allura and planting a kiss on her cheek before rolling over to the counter, taking a long sip of her smoothie.
“Goblin?” Rachel asked incredulously. “You were dating the Princess of Arus this whole time and didn’t tell me?”
Gob took a very long sip of smoothie. “It worked out in the end, didn’t it?”
Rachel sputtered, and she kept getting interrupted by Goblin sipping her smoothie very loudly.
The room went silent, then the fearless commander spoke up.
“What the fuck?”
Said roommate was lounging on Rachel’s bed, scrolling through her phone, presumably texting her mystery girlfriend. Goblin (likely an alias, her parents didn’t literally name her Goblin… probably) looked up briefly with a frown.
“Gob, are you going to tell me who this is?” Rachel sighed, turning around to her roommate.
“No? That ruins the point.” Goblin sat up after shooting a quick text. “Wear the black dress, it highlights your curves more.”
“Are you dressing me by how good I would look to him or how good I would look to you?”
“To me, duh? Besides, any good man would think you look good in almost anything, so my taste should work.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Your taste in women is just buff.”
Goblin sputtered and fell off the bed. Ignoring her flustered roommate, she turned back to the mirror, then set down her light blue floral dress in favor of her slim black dress.
“Wear the pearls with that one,” Goblin said, having gotten back on the bed, though a bit more flush around the ears. “And light pink lipstick, light blue eyeshadow, don’t go heavy on the mascara.”
“Since when were you an expert in fashion?” Rachel turned around, an eyebrow raised.
“I got a degree, I’m literally an expert.”
“Really? You? Got a college degree?”
“Yeah? Then why don’t you have a job?”
“I have a sugar mommy. I don’t need it.”
She just rolled her eyes, picking up her makeup and the matching pearl necklace and earrings. “Alright, get out of my room. I have to get changed.”
Goblin slid bonelessly off of the bed, like a cat, and walked out. “I’ll text you the restaurant location. Don’t be late.”
“This is coming from the girl who’s always late!”
“Shut up!”
Rachel sipped on her lemonade, sitting at an outside table while looking over the menu. She was at a fancy restaurant called “The Vine,” with all the names written in a Southern Arusian dialect and outrageously expensive. It was almost like an Olive Garden, which she supposed is why she’s sitting here without a wallet in her purse. Goblin told her that the man would pay for it. And to not be too embarrassed. She didn’t have a clue what that meant, but she supposed she would find out soon.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, traffic was awful-” The other man dropped into his seat, before cutting off when their eyes met.
Lance McClain sat across from her.
His hair was slicked back, but there were still pieces flying out, a wildness that couldn’t be contained. He wore a simple navy tux, a rose pinned to his lapel. And he was the one who Rachel liked- no, loved- no, adored.
One problem: he’s seen her twerk on the beach to “Never Gonna Give You Up” and then watch her fake pearl jewelry scatter all over the beach. So she’s screwed. (Fuck Goblin for that)
“Hey, you’re the one from the beach!” Lance grinned, leaning onto the table.
Her face went bright red. “That’s the last time I’m taking any dating advice from my roommate.”
He just chuckled good-naturedly. “The short one with purple hair, right? I’m pretty sure she’s a lesbian.”
“Yeah, in hindsight, asking her for dating advice was probably a mistake.” She took another sip of lemonade.
“Well, I think it ended up going well, if you’re sitting here in front of me,” Lance winked, and it took all of Rachel’s willpower not to squeal.
“I think you have to buy me dinner first before you lay on the flatteries.” Rachel said, trying to get herself under control.
“Well, I think I should know your name, sweetheart.”
“It’s Rachel.”
A few tables away, Goblin and Allura sat with pilot shades and strawberry limenades, watching the blind date go down.
“It seems to be going well,” Allura muttered, entwining her fingers with her girlfriend’s.
“Yeah, nothing’s on fire,” Goblin chuckled.
“This is Lance, not Pidge, we’re talking about.” Allura took another sip of her drink, before pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek.
She sighed, leaning into it, before backing away. “We’re gonna get kicked out at this rate, Lura.”
“Didn’t you say you were craving barbeque earlier?”
“Yeah, but if we were kicked out, our cover would be blown.” Goblin sighed, but then she winked. “I wouldn’t be opposed to leaving now and getting kicked out of a barbeque place though.”
Somehow, they managed to escape the Vine before they were kicked out for making out.
Rachel yawned, snuggling into the very soft blankets. They felt like silk- silk?
She bolted up, finding that she was laying in a room that absolutely wasn’t her own. The curtains were a deep blue, the floor was covered in clothes, and the nightstand next to her had a knife and a picture. A picture of the Voltron team.
She tried to remember what happened last night. She was set up on a blind date by Goblin, she met up with the Lance McClain, they had dinner, and then they-
Hoarse whispers in her ear, calloused hands on her hips, clothes being shed-
Rachel shook her head, pulling herself up and putting on some clothes. The sweatpants she grabbed were too big, but she managed to tie them, and the tee she grabbed was too big, but she just dealt with it. Eventually, she opened the door and started to wander.
Why the fuck are these hallways all the same?
Eventually, she found her way into the lounge. Hunk was cooking something, Lance was sitting at the counter next to Allura and Keith, and Pidge was sitting on the counter.
“Umm, hello?” Lance looked over to where Rachel was with a grin.
“Rachel!” Lance strode over, slinging an arm around her shoulder and guiding her into the room. “Meet the others. That’s Mr. Too High Strung, that’s Gordon Ramsey, that’s Dipshit, and that’s Allura.”
There were a whole bunch of cries of protest, but the loudest one was Hunk’s. “Wait a minute, why didn’t Allura get a condescending name!?”
“Because I did him a solid.” Allura pat Lance on the back, as Keith stood up to give Rachel a seat. “I was the one to help get him his girl.”
Keith sighed, his fingers pressed to his temples. “And what did Lance do for you to owe him a solid?”
“Hey! Sometimes I do things out of the kindness of my heart-”
“I got her a girlfriend.”
“Hey.”
A tirade of questions started, and Rachel mainly tuned it out, leaning against her now boyfriend. He was warm, and he gripped her tighter as he realized that she was leaning on him.
The room went quiet as the door opened behind her. Her eyes widened as Goblin rolled in, a smoothie in her hands, wearing sunglasses and rolling in on heelies.
“Hi babe,” she said casually, rolling over to Allura and planting a kiss on her cheek before rolling over to the counter, taking a long sip of her smoothie.
“Goblin?” Rachel asked incredulously. “You were dating the Princess of Arus this whole time and didn’t tell me?”
Gob took a very long sip of smoothie. “It worked out in the end, didn’t it?”
Rachel sputtered, and she kept getting interrupted by Goblin sipping her smoothie very loudly.
The room went silent, then the fearless commander spoke up.
“What the fuck?”